Episode 177: Conditional Commitment
Dr. Chelsea: Hi, I'm Dr. Chelsea. Welcome to Passion for Dance. My mission is to help create happier, more successful dancers. And to start today, I have a question. When your dancers are having a bad day, do they feel like that gives them the right to have a bad practice? Do your dancers believe, “I'm upset today. Please be kind. Let me just slog through”?
That's called conditional commitment, when you're only a hundred percent committed when you feel 100%, which any coach will tell you doesn't work. And yes, that is very different from the idea of giving 100% no matter what. There is room for shifting moods and feelings, but there's not room for shifting discipline and commitment.
I'm here to break it down for you so you better understand what I mean and how you can help your dancers improve their commitment. So let's talk about this concept of conditional commitment!
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Hi, I'm Dr. Chelsea, a former professional dancer and mental performance coach. I know what it feels like to be a passionate dance teacher who cares about your dancers, but you want to challenge them and help them be their best, and I also recognize that some traditions and teaching practices in the dance world are harmful. So I'm on a mission to change our dance industry by creating happier, more successful dancers using positive mental skills.
When you understand how to help your dancers with their confidence, how to find their own motivation, work together as a team and more, your dancers will unlock new levels of competitive success and happiness. And it's not just about them; you deserve the same. So we'll talk about how dance teachers can use positive mental skills to be more confident, resilient, and motivated as well.
Be sure to hit “subscribe” wherever you listen to podcasts. There are new episodes every Thursday, and each week you'll hear from me and my guests with advice and actionable tips for building mental toughness, covering topics about mindset, motivation, resilience, and building a community. Passion for Dance is a show designed to help dance educators like you have a positive impact on every dancer you teach.
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I see so many frustrated dance teachers posting on social media groups, talking about it in my community, that it feels harder and harder to get dancers to be fully committed to their teams and their studios. We want our dancers to be all in, be 100% committed. Anything less is frustrating. I get that. I agree. If you commit, especially in a team situation, you better show up and be there for your team.
Conditional vs. Unconditional Commitment – 2:28
There's this growing phenomenon, however, called conditional commitment, which basically means, “I'm committed but only under certain circumstances.” In theory, that's not all bad. The problem is the conditions under which dancers feel free to be less committed are growing.
We've always had exceptions, right? You don't have to be 100% committed. There are family emergencies. There are serious illnesses. There are serious injuries. There are times when it is appropriate to pull back on your commitment. But again, what I'm seeing is those excuses for being less than 100% committed are just growing. There's more and more of them that feel less and less legitimate.
It's that feeling of, “I'm committed except when I'm having a bad day,” or “I'm committed except when my family planned a vacation in the middle of comp season when they've known those dates for months.” It's frustrating and certainly not the best thing for dancers either if they're trying to grow and improve and be the best dancers they can be. Conditional commitment is not going to get them there.
What I think most teachers and coaches are looking for is actually unconditional commitment, the idea that you are committed all the time, regardless of circumstances. Now, I also think that prioritizing dance in front of everything else, again, like serious mental illness or physical illness, a death in the family, failing grades, we don't want to put dance above those serious things, but I doubt that's what you're after either. All we're asking is that dancers take their commitment more seriously and are less wishy-washy about the excuses they give when they don't feel like showing up for the day.
I think this idea of conditional commitment has evolved over time, and that makes it harder for us to understand. Parents are less likely to enforce commitments for their children than they used to be. Where they're more likely to view their personal desires as the only important factor without consideration for the team. I think that some of that comes from an outdated perspective of what dance is and how serious it can be where parents don't always realize dancers are athletes whose training deserves the same commitment you would give any other sport.
I do see it in all sports, however, that other things take priority all the time, and it's no longer just the serious important stuff. It's the frivolous stuff. “I'm not feeling committed when I'm tired, when I've had a busy week, or when I just really want to go see that concert.” I think conditional commitment is becoming the norm. Maybe you're feeling it too. It worries me because it has real, negative consequences on the dancer's motivation and, of course, their actual performance.
When an athlete is conditionally committed, they're likely going to lose motivation. They learn that, “When I don't feel 100% motivated, I can take that as a sign that I need a break. I can skip class today,” but motivation is never at 100% every day. That's not how motivation works. No one feels motivated all day every day. What we have to learn is discipline. When you don't feel motivated to go to ballet today, but you know you made a commitment, you know that going to class aligns with your larger goals, you have to be disciplined enough to show up and follow through with your commitment.
Now, from a psychological perspective, when people say, “If you only have 40% today, because something serious is going on, and you gave 40%, then that means you gave 100% of what you have.” That's true, and that's different from what I'm saying here. If you are not operating at your best, but you still show up and give everything you can, that's following through on your commitment. Conditional commitment is only showing up when the conditions are right, and those conditions are becoming less and less frequent and dancers have more and more excuses to not show up at all.
Conditional commitment currently hurts a dancer's actual performance, of course. When you're training inconsistently, it's going to hurt your ability to execute. It will also hurt your confidence because you haven't built up the trust in yourself that you can do it well, because you haven't put in the work. And there's absolutely team dynamic impact of conditional commitment. When dancers show up only when conditions are right for them, you will rarely have a practice or rehearsal where everyone is there, and that doesn't work in our world. We rely on each other onstage, mentally and physically, and we can't train with missing dancers every day and assume it'll come together later. Instead, we need dancers who show up every day and honor their commitment, giving everything they have every day.
It hurts team morale most when it feels like no one cares, or you're the only one who's working hard. It's going to snowball where dancers are less and less likely to show up and conditional commitment gets worse. It gives an excuse for everyone to just be less and less committed.
How to Navigate Conditional Commitment – 6:58
So what do we do about it? Dancers, I encourage you to think about your own level of commitment. Are you only committed when things are going well, or are you committed no matter what? Many dancers are not actively hurting the team, but they aren't really committed either. They're simply compliant. They're maybe good little soldiers, do the work but never go above and beyond and likely find excuses to not have to train.
What I'm asking for is dancers who feel truly committed, who go the extra mile for their own training. Dancers, when you don't feel like taking class today or are not feeling motivated, remember that motivation won't always be there. There's nothing wrong with you if you feel off today or had a frustrating day at school. Those bad days will happen. But when you have those bad days, remember your personal goals and values. Why do you want to dance? What did you promise your teammates? What did you promise yourself? Do you want to be the type of person who follows through on your promises? And if so, take a deep breath, focus on what you want long term, and get to class, giving it everything you have that day.
Coaches, teachers, talk to your dancers about conditional commitment. I think there's a misunderstanding around mental health and mental toughness that I've been talking about a lot lately, where many dancers and parents think, “If I'm having a hard day or I'm a little upset, I need a day off with my friends, so I can skip dance and take care of myself.” But again, if it's just a little bit of a hard day, we're not talking about serious depression here. If we're just having an off day and kind of, “Eh,” then the expectation is you show up and honor your commitment.
Talk to your dancers about the idea that motivation isn't always there, but they have to train the discipline to show up even when they're not feeling it. Talk about your clear expectations for the level of commitment for your team and your studio. Dancers who know what they're committing to, why it matters so much, not just for them but their teammates, and what to do when they don't feel motivated will be able to combat this idea of conditional commitment.
Because conditional commitment is growing, but we can work to stop it and teach our dancers what it means to truly commit to your passion and work towards your goals. Talk about what constitutes as a valid reason for taking a break because there certainly are some, but what is valid and what doesn't count? Talk about what being less than fully committed does to the team and, more importantly, what giving up on yourself does to the dancer.
Leave a Voice Note! – 9:21
I know this is a challenging topic. I'd love to hear your thoughts, your questions. If you have scenarios you'd like me to discuss or questions you want to ask about commitment and motivation, please leave me a little voice note. You can ask anonymously if you want or share a little bit about yourself like your first name and that you work with studio dancers in Missouri or something like that, whatever you're comfortable with. Let's keep this conversation going. I want to hear from you!
So go to www.chelseapierotti.com/message. Click on the link in the show notes. I know my last name's hard to spell. That link is there for you wherever you're listening now and just leave a message. Again, that's www.chelseapierotti.com/message or the link is in the podcast player right now.
Dancers, I'd love to hear from you, too! This is not a one-sided thing. So please chime in. Let me know how I can help. Thank you so much for listening, and keep sharing your passion for dance with the world!
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Thank you for listening to Passion for Dance! You can find all episode resources at www.chelseapierotti.com/podcast, and be sure to follow me on Instagram for more high-performance tips at @dr.chelsea.pierotti. This podcast is for passionate dance teachers and coaches who are ready to change the dance industry by creating happier, more successful dancers. I'm Dr. Chelsea and keep sharing your passion for dance with the world.
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